Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sunday May 270507
Sorry for not posting the previous friday, was abit too busy to do so. Today spent my time studying chinese the whole day but was too tired and rest up when it was evening. And i watched this show, called There is No nice guy in this world, in chinese, or it could be nice guy have extinct. I shouldnt watch the show, i knew it when they had the commercial about the show few days ago, but i still went and watched it. Sighs, i really shouldnt watch it, it reminds me of memories that i dont like. They often say that in a relationship u need trust, commitment and honesty( correct me if i didnt spell it correctly ). But seems that even when i done all 3 of them, they still dont work, i dont know why. Why is it so. I really thought that i forgotten about things like this cos i always tell myself it's up to me my own to forget it, i also tell some of my frens or rather my mei,that it's up to yourself whether you want to forget it or not, not that u couldnt is that u didnt want to. I thought it was suppose to be like that, think i am wrong, i keep telling myself i should be happy about other things and try not to remember the things that they done to me. but wadever i do i just couldnt forget them. Not forget how much i love them is forget how much pain they put in me. if now you ask if they ask for patch would i patch back? i could say it in confidence, No. Not only that i will hate them, but i always tell myself, don hate them, pity them. Pity for they done this to me one day they will receive retribution, well one of them did received it, though i really felt sorry for her.
Did i did something wrong in the past? Why must i receive such treatment? I trust them i told them everything and no lies towards them, why is it so that they have to do this to me. Why has it got to be me? Well they said that in most relationship girls are always in a disadvantage, but this time maybe i am too stupid to be true to be the one suffering rather then them. Or should i say i don even bear to let them suffer. I treat them like gold, but they treat me like shit. And till now i am too afraid of getting in a relationship again. Cause i didnt want to be hurt again. I dont want something to go wrong again, i really didnt wan something like that to happen. I really dont, cause the feeling of being cheated aint something good to enjoy about. Many guys wants to be a playboy because in the end of relationship you are not the one suffering but the girls, but do u know how much they are hurt because of it? Thats why i detest being a playboy. i detest it, i detest ppl who treat relationship as a game. I got a stomach of feelings that i couldnt explained, i dont know how to explain in words. Sometimes, i wish i wouldnt born in this world. Or should i say i wish i didnt met them before. IF ONLY I DIDNT. Now this sentence kept coming to my mind, ' what have i done wrong, that this is to happen to me'. But up until now i still strongly agree wif that ppl who lies to ppl and hurt their feelings will have retributions. They will suffer in the end, thats the reason why i nvr hurt a girl's feeling. But ended up getting hurt myself, as always.
A Shinigami killed you@ 8:50 AM
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